Where is my destination? (Personal Narrative by Patricia Ann Dasa 12 - HUMSS JOY)

I'm a Senior High School student at a private University in our small city. i'm currently in 12th grade and it's usually the point in every student's life where they already have their future planned. They have List of Schools they want to enroll in, courses and future professions they envisioned their self to be in. But here I am, completely clueless of what i want.

I'm not exceptionally smart or outstanding in School, but I do have good grades because I don't want to disappoint my parents. Iv'e always followed what they wanted that it came to the point where I don't even know how to decide for my self anymore. 

To be very honest, I actually envy my friends and classmates who found something they want to do. I envy people who knows what they want. People who knows where their destination is. I want to feel what they feel when they do something that they love. I want to fall in love with something i'd do for the rest of my life.

As our graduation is fast approaching, I'm excited because finally, I can make my parents proud. But I'm really anxious. I'm scared of what will happen next after I graduate. I'm afraid of making the wrong choice and choose a course i don't like or course I won't excel in. I'm afraid of failure. I'm afraid of seeing my parent's disappointed face once I fail.

I don't know what I'm good at. I don't think I have any talent at all. I'm not exceptional nor special like any other kids out there. I don't even think that there's something i'm good at. i know how to do this and that but i'm not the best at it. I just want to find something that would make my heart beat. I want to know what my passion is.

But I feel like I'm running out of time. I'm a graduating student who doesn't know what she wants in life. It's like travelling without knowing where your destination is. I feel so lost. It's like iv'e been so busy trying to meet the standards of other people and trying my best not to disappoint my parents that I've lost my way in this complicated world without an exit. 

But despite all the uncertainties and confusion, I know I belong somewhere. Soon enough, if not now, I'd figure out where my destination is and it's gonna be worth the wrong roads iv'e been walking on.

Being a student is hard. especially when you're almost at the finish line, our graduation. It gets busier than ever, the pressure you feel doubles, it feels like the clock is ticking so fast and there's no room for mistakes. But our journey doesn't end there. perhaps, it could be the start of another adventure waiting for you. It's okay if we didn't figure everything out yet. Because sometimes, to lose your path is the way to find that path.